Let me start off by admitting that I am not rich. I was not born rich. I probably won’t die rich. In the intervening years, I will probably never be considered rich.

But for most of my life, I’ve had the privilege (and, some would say, the curse) to be surrounded by people who are rich. I grew up in an affluent suburb, where the average housing prices were in the $400,000 range (my family lived on the “wrong side of the tracks” – literally – in a house currently valued in the $231k range). I then went on to an elite East Coast university, where my freshman year roommate arrived on campus with a Coach luggage set crammed into the back of the BMW convertible she’d received as a high school graduation present. Since college, I’ve seen my friends go into lucrative fields like I-banking, law, and medicine, amassing obscene fortunes for 20- and 30-somethings in the midst of the economic recession.

The point is that, although I am not rich, I do know a lot about rich people.

And that’s where this list comes from. Part tongue-in-cheek, part stark reality, these are ten signs that you – or someone you know – might be rich:

1. They go to a restaurant where prices aren’t listed on the menu (meaning they cost more than my monthly mortgage payment)… on a Tuesday night… and they’re not celebrating a birthday/anniversary/new job.
2. They name their children horrendous names like Randolph Edward Channingsworth IV in honor of the family’s forebearers who earned, subsequently squandered, then redeemed the family’s inscrutable wealth. They endearingly call the over-monikkered child “Trad.”
3. They don’t go on vacations; instead, they “summer.” Maybe they “summer” at the coast, or maybe they “summer” at the mountains. They never, ever go on road trips.
4. They talk with a slightly British accent, a la Madonna, although they don’t have a single ancestor with ties to the United Kingdom.
5. They fly first class. Seriously, nobody except a millionaire can afford to fly anything other than coach these days.
6. When they say they have “season tickets at the Met,” they mean the Metropolitan Opera, not the New York baseball team.
7. They are impeccably accessorized. If you comment on their Louis Moinet watch, they’ll brush it off – “This old thing? My parents gave it to me when I graduated from Haaaaaahvard” – but you’ll know it cost upwards of $2 million.
8. They have a driving range in their attic (no, this is a true story – I recently met a man who has a full-fledged driving range in his attic; I didn’t believe it until he whipped out his iPhone to show me pictures).
9. They have the job title “Consultant” printed in bold font on their business cards. When you ask them what exactly it is that they do, they reply, “Ohhh, you know, a little bit of this, and a little bit of that.” No, you don’t know.
10. They call their gym a “health club.” They never use any of the cardio equipment, nor do they lift weights. At best, they may indulge in a game of racquetball or a round of golf, although they’re usually found hobnobbing in the steam room.

Reader, what quirky habits tip you off to someone’s wealth?

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Welcome to the Stupid-Crazy Amount of Money Series! As the name sorta kinda hints at, this series focuses on having a stupid-crazy amount of money and what could possibly be done with it. For those who don’t possess the vernacular of a mid-20’s geek, stupid-crazy is actually in fact a scientific term, a hyphenated adjective, if you will, that describes “amount of money” in this case. Put another way, a stupid-crazy amount of money means having a rather large amount of cash at your disposal that is ridiculous, almost impossible, and utterly nonsensical… all at the same time. Okay, so while not exactly a scientific term, I’ve just made it an official Go Be Rich term, so just go with it.

Anyway, this is simply a fun, creative series that explores what could be done with unlimited cash. Ever wanted to buy Russia? How about the moon? Maybe you just want to buy every single dog in the world a pink stuffed chew-toy? Whatever you want to do, you can do it in the Stupid-Crazy Amount of Money series. Below is the second entry.

The SCAM Series: Total Cost of the Best Videogames

E3 happened this month. Don't know what E3 is? It's about 3 full days of absolute amazingness, that's what it is.

To be more specific, E3 stands for the yearly Electronic Entertainment Expo. Yes, this is going to be a videogame post. But even if you don't like videogames, my awesome writing style will keep you entertained, I promise.

Every year, the big names in the videogame industry get together for a huge expo, showcasing their newest games and hardware, as well as teasing fans with info on upcoming games that may not be released for 2 or 3 years to come.

E3 (and Christmas) gets me back in the videogame mood every year, which is probably what triggered a memory about something that I used to dream about as a kid with limited financial means: owning every single video game ever made.

Today I'm going to calculate the stupid-crazy cost of doing just that. 

Note: when I started this, I had no idea that there were about 3 billion actual videogame systems, each with their own set of games, so we're instead going to stick with a good amount of the most popular video game systems and their games.

Let's start with the hardware. After all, I would've had to buy the hardware to play the games on. I think we'll go back as far as the Magnavox Odyssey, which was about 15 years before I was a screaming, crying, pooping baby, so this is for all you "wiser" folks out there. Plus, this is where many people consider the beginning of the home video game console era to have begun.

The Hardware

Below is a list of the top 25 consoles as complied by video game website IGN back in 2009, including original release date, the price when they were released, and the inflation-adjusted cost of buying a brand-new console today (not that all but a handful of these consoles are still produced today). IGN however didn't deem handhelds good enough for this list, and I can't possibly write an article on videogames while consciously leaving out the Gameboy line, so I've thrown them in as well.

Total Cost of owning every one of these systems, brand-new, in the year 2011: between $12,116.38 and $12, 336.38.

You could buy 30 video game consoles, or a new Herbeau Dagobert Wooden Throne Toilet (personally, I would be afraid of the whole splinter possibility).

The Games

At first I thought surely I would be able to find a list of every single game that was released for every single console on our list along with the price they were released at. I quickly discovered this to be absolutely impossible. So, change of plans. To continue this post I've utilized a site called Videogames.Pricecharting.com, which takes a look at the what each game on each console is selling for on EBay, Amazon, HalfPrice.com, and a few other sources, and arrives at an average price point.

One thing to keep in mind: several games have, over time, become ridiculous collector's items, such as one original Nintendo game selling for $20,100.00 (Nintendo Campus Challenge 1991). That's right, you could either go buy this crappy game, or put a down payment on a house.

So while in one sense this will severely skew the final number from what you originally could have bought all of these games for brand-new on the store shelves back in the day, in another sense this will be a completely accurate price for what is available today. 

Total Cost of purchasing every single game for every one of these consoles: $265,029.99. Forget the down payment on a house… you could either buy a total of 16,341 games for a total of 30 different consoles, or you could simply buy that house outright. Of course, then you wouldn't have any money for video games.

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The idea for this post percolated after reading a post over at Studenomics about how important getting laid is (okay, I know it sounds bad but it’s actually very interesting, tastefully done, and really, touches on important personal finance principles. Come on, we’re all adults here right?)

The Beamer Jerk

So we’ve all seen the guy driving a brand-new BMW convertible in his Gucci suit, with his Italian leather briefcase sitting in the passenger seat and a bottle full of gel on his head, hair all slicked back like a shiny black helmet. He’s usually on his cell phone.

This is the kind of guy that typically yells at a 90-year-old woman for crossing the street too slowly, preventing him from tearing off in his BMW. Even though the light is still red.

Despite this guy’s obvious money, most of us would find the aspect of hanging out with this guy an unattractive one at best (unless maybe he was buying us stuff. Lots of big, expensive stuffs). But is this guy actually unattractive? Basically what I’m getting at here is whether or not someone’s attitude towards money effects their attractiveness.

Humbleness

Here’s how I see it: the guy described above is a jerk.  He’s not a jerk for having money or success however, unless he came by that money and success in illegal or questionable ways. Instead, he’s a jerk because he doesn’t carry himself in a humble way. He chooses to flagrantly broadcast the fact that he’s rich at every turn, and because of that believes himself to be better than others. It’s one thing to be proud of your accomplishments, it’s another thing entirely to be arrogant.

Thriftiness

Our BMW guy would never shop at Wal-Mart. Nor would he shop at some of the stores that the majority of us consider to be fairly swanky. Nope, nothing but the best for this guy. If he’s got the money, and even if he doesn’t (credit cards), he buys only the best. Now, I’m certainly not against buying fancy stuff every  now and again, but this guy probably looks down on domestic bottled water, believing that the only bottled water worthy of his stomach is some imported 199% pure rare spring water from Rome. Come on, really? It’s one thing to make a lot of money and buy nice things. It’s another thing entirely to believe that you always deserve the best, all the time, no matter how trivial of a thing it is.

Charitableness

Mr. Gucci suit man would never spare a dime for a roaming band of dirty, starving children living on the streets (Oliver Twist suddenly came to mind…), let alone donate to a charity. Now I’m certainly not saying that he should donate just because he can, and that it’s his duty to do so or anything (read my Atlas Shrugged post, you’ll see that’s not me at all). But when faced with the opportunity to really help someone out, and I mean really help them out, as in aiding them in helping themselves, and giving them a financial push in the right direction, this guy wouldn’t even consider doing so. It’s one thing to not give money to someone who will just turn right back around and perpetuate their bad habits with it. It’s another thing entirely to be completely cold-hearted and uncaring, especially when you have the means to help.

Supportiveness

I’m going to take a wild guess and assume this imported water guy is single. Not because he’s a jerk (high school, cable television, and life in general prove jerks still get girls), but because he chooses to be. He probably didn’t spend his youth wondering how to be a social worker, or taking mission trips to Brazil with his neighborhood church group, because he was busy talking military strategy with his various GI Joe figurines. He later grew up to be an even busier man, focused on his wallet, and the showy new things it can buy. Having to support a family is something that’s not on this guy’s schedule. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with choosing to be single, but one day, after this guy’s prime has come and gone, and he’s pushed everyone away with his crappy behavior, he may look back on his life and realize he has nothing but his money. I for one want tons of loving family at my funeral.

So there’s just 4 areas that someone with lots of money can be a jerk in. I have a feeling though that even without his money, this guy would still be a jerk.

What Do You Think?

Whatcha think? Ladies, what financial traits about a guy make him more or less attractive? Guys, does the way a woman handle her money influence how interested you are? Does the amount of money a man or woman makes change things? Let me know what you think!

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Okay, so I’m just gonna come out and say it- I’m a nerd.

Of course, I do bathe daily, unlike most nerds. And I exercise nearly every day of the week, which is something hardcore nerds seem to be allergic to. But when a movie like the new Star Trek directed by J.J. Abrams promotes me to write a post about what Star Trek can teach us about our finances, simply because I want in some way to relate a post to Star Trek…I consider myself a nerd.

All kidding aside, Star Trek is chock- full of worthwhile themes and concepts that could translate into beneficial thought concerning what we do with our money.

Considering that the Earth of Star Trek times has eliminated war and disease completely, they just might be on to something.

Warp Drive related to investing or debt elimination:

Consider the forms of propulsion throughout history; walking, animals pulling wagons, sails attached to ships moved by wind, the steam engine, the internal combustion engine, the rockets of the space age… all of these seem rather primitive compared to an engine that propels things faster than the speed of light.

Consider the beginning stages of your investments or debt elimination as those early forms of propulsion. They may not seem like much, and none of them will ever get you as far as warp drive could, but all of them have been necessary to obtain warp drive.

Over time those early steps will grow until one day you’ll look back and be amazed at how far you have come.

If we never figured out how to build the wheel or a simple rocket, how could we possibly travel faster than light?

Diversity of races/species:

In the days of the original Star Trek, the one with Captain Kirk, one of the unique things about the show was that diversity was encouraged and promoted, evidenced by the fact that the crew of the Enterprise consisted of both men and women, in equal positions of authority, enjoying equal opportunities for advancement and recognition.

Additionally shocking was the fact that one of those females was black.

Oh, and did I mention that whole species that haven’t even had a chance to be discriminated against yet, namely aliens from other planets, were treated just as fairly?

The point here is that in order to get rid of debt, build wealth, and achieve financial independence, all of your old ways of thinking need to be at least examined, if not completely reworked. You’ll have to let go of old discriminations and assumptions that have kept you from achieving your financial goals and instead develop and cultivate new behavior that is more conducive to your aspirations.

“I don’t believe in the no-win scenario”:

In the new Star Trek film, an argument between Spock and Young Kirk occurs, concerning a test designed to determine how cadets respond to a situation in which there is no way to win. James Kirk responds with the dramatic (possibly over-dramatic), and defiant line, “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario”.

Sometimes when it comes to our finances, we must also have this stubborn perspective. We must be able to blindly, on nothing more than faith, believe that we will be able to climb out of the deep, dark hole of debt, and one day rise to the point where we can be financially independent.

This will probably be one of the harder things to do; after all, we’ve lived our entire lives believing that those rare, uber-rich individuals are almost freaks of nature, that no common hard-working person could ever come close to that sort of success. Society itself tells us this often enough.

Just believing 100% that it’s possible is at least half the battle. All that’s left at that point is to just take the steps to get there.